


Baby, You Can Light My Fire

by neuroticscales



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Camping, M/M, general cuteness, snuggles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-20
Updated: 2013-12-20
Packaged: 2018-01-05 05:38:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1090243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neuroticscales/pseuds/neuroticscales
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John takes Bro camping. Bro whines a lot. Cuteness ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baby, You Can Light My Fire

**Author's Note:**

> Written from a prompt for secretsantastuck2013!
> 
> Thanks for reading!

“I still don’t get why we have to go camping,” Bro grumbled, “it’s too cold.” John waved his hand around in a vague gesture.  
“Quit your moping,” he said, and pointed out the window, “as you can see, it’s summer.”  
“I’m not used to your summer,” Bro started, John waving his hand again.  
“I know, I know. Wish you were back in Texas,” he said, rolling his eyes, “Washington’s no place for a Strider.” Bro grinned- wolfish like usual.  
“Now pack your shit.” Bro strolled past John and down the hall, stopping halfway down to shoot John another smile.  
“Should I pack your vibrators?,” he called. John shouted curses and threw the pants he was folding at Bro’s back. Bro laughed as they bounced off his shoulder. “Love you too, babe.”  
\----------

Bro was definitely not excited to go camping. Cold, bugs, being outside in general, it was just… gross. The prospect of swatting bugs off his freezing carcass with a burnt cocktail-weenie on a stick was not a happy one. What was exciting was getting to spend a little one-on-one time with Egbert. It seemed Dave’s lazy ass never left the couch. Like, get a grip, kid. Guess his freaky invasive girlfriend wasn’t enough for him. They never got to spend alone time together, and he supposed that, to do so, he would have to do some annoying task with John to appease him. Well, fine by him.

Bro threw his clothes into his bag, now with renewed vigor. John peeked from behind the doorframe at Bro.  
“You ready?,” he asked.  
“Almost,” John walked over and peered at him incredulously, gingerly opening the bag to see inside. He stared up at Bro, slack-jawed.  
“Where’s your toiletries?,” he asked. Bro raised an eyebrow.  
“You know! Like, toothbrush, comb? Cleaning stuff!”  
“I don’t bathe, what are you even talking about?” John curled his lip, disgusted; Bro just laughed. John left the room for a minute and came back with an armful of bathroom stuff, depositing it into Bro’s bag.  
“There. I got your nasty hair gel, even though you don’t need it,” John stated.  
“A man is nothing without his hair products,” Bro said, tossing his hands in a “what can you do?” gesture.  
“Whatever. We’re leaving in five minutes, you big dumb,” John said, leaving the room.  
“‘Kay, mom.”  
\----------

“John, I’m going to kill you, man. We’re making this happen,” Bro grumbled. John punched him on the arm. Bro faked pain, whining an “oww” while rubbing his arm.  
“Two hands on the wheel!” Bro groaned and replaced his hand on the steering wheel.  
“All this camping shit, and yet you still make me drive.” John sighed.  
“Yeah, yeah, I’m a horrible person,” he replied. Suddenly, he pointed to an off-the-beaten-path, dirt road on their right. “There it is! Turn here!”  
“God, cool your jets, jeeves,” he said, turning on the road sharply, “where is this place?” Bro looked at John, deadly serious. “Are you kidnapping me, John? Giving me directions right to my demise?”  
“Oh my goooood, shut up, Dirk,” John replied, “you’ll see.”  
“Suck my Dirk,” Bro whispered. John’s jaw dropped.  
“You’ll be sucking your own Dirk when you see how great this place is,” he said.  
“I don’t think that’s physically possib-” Bro almost slammed the brakes as he finally drove up to the camp’s clearing, “god damn.” The campsite- more of a resort, actually- was one of the nicest places he’d ever seen. Surrounded by a lake, there were cabins to one side and tents to the other, each with its own fire pit. John pointed excitedly to a well-sized tent at the very back.  
“Tent number twelve!” Bro waved his hand in reply, still too floored to speak. Where they parked, they had to walk thirty yards or so to their tent, where stood a woman who seemed way too friendly. Her huge smile engulfed half of her face.  
“Hey, campers!,” she trilled, sing-song. Bro groaned, unable to hide his disdain. John smiled and elbowed Bro in the ribs.  
“Hello!,” John called back. You could see her giant smile fade a little when Bro strolled up, but she gestured to them excitedly.  
“Can I take your bags?,” she asked.  
“I don’t know, can you?,” Bro grumbled under his breath. John, who was willingly handing over his possessions to this crazy woman, tutted.  
“Just give her your bags, ya big baby,” John scolded. Bro scowled.  
“I am a grown-ass man,” Bro said, and reluctantly handed over his duffel, “you’re a baby.”  
“Only babies talk back to their boyfriends,” John hissed. Bro scoffed.  
“Babies don’t have boyfriends. So I suppose I have to break up with you.” John shoved him, and Bro just laughed like usual. Being a very solid, sturdy man, the shove did basically nothing. The happy woman retreated back from the tent, and opened the flaps to show them the inside.  
“Holy shit,” Bro murmured. John laughed.  
“I know,” he replied. Bro looked at him suspiciously, narrowing his eyes.  
“How are you paying for all of this?” John’s expression was way past “cat swallowed the canary.”  
“Who’s the one with a successful porn franchise?,” he asked, foot in mouth.  
“I think you mean empire.”  
“Would you like me to get a fire started for you?,” the woman cut in. John nodded.  
“Sure!,” he replied.  
“You can go right in,” she said, gesturing to the tent as she turned to the firepit. John entered the tent, lifting the flaps so Bro could follow. Bro let out a low whistle, taking in the setting.  
“Wow,” he remarked, “mood lighting.” He pointed to the corner of the room, where there was a small cot. “I call the bed.” John furrowed his brow.  
“Neither of us “call the bed”, because we’re using my sleeping bag,” at this, he pointed to the unfurled sleeping bag at their feet.  
“Why?,” Bro questioned. John looked at him like he’d been slapped.  
“Don’t you wanna snuggle?,” he said, visibly hurt.  
“What the shit, man?,” Bro asked, pushing John’s shoulder. “Course I wanna fucking snuggle.” Bro threw his arms around John, pulling him closer to plant tiny kisses on John’s neck.  
“Oh my god,” John began, swatting at Bro’s head, “you’re so gross!”  
“And you’re cute,” Bro replied, hugging John tightly. Too tightly.  
“Knock knock!,” they heard from outside the tent. Bro released John from his burly prison, pinching his cheek like his nanna used to do. John “guh!”ed, calling for the woman to come in.  
“So, the fire’s started! If you need anything, I’m in Cabin Twelve.” They followed her out of the tent, happy for her to finally be leaving. John oohed and ahhed at the fire, squealing when he saw that the perky woman had placed marshmallows and skewers near the pit.  
“Look! Free candy!” he exclaimed, tearing into the bag. “I like that lady, she’s nice.” Bro scoffed.  
“Maybe if nice means really fucking annoying and in the way all the time.”  
“But she brought us treats!,” proving his point, John stabbed a marshmallow on a skewer and held it out to Bro. He stared at the brutally murdered treat for a minute before reluctantly swiping it from John’s hand and holding it in the fire.  
“You’re killing it!,” John exclaimed as Bro’s marshmallow turned black and caught a bit on fire, his own golden-brown and delicious looking. Bro removed his skewer from the fire, blowing out the fire.  
“I happen to like them burnt,” he said, and popped it in his mouth. Immediately he yelped, coughing and spluttering and wiping it off his tongue. John burst out into gales of laughter, chewing his own perfectly cooked marshmallow.  
“Told you so, you big nerd!,” he countered.  
“Wow dude, don’t talk with your mouth full,” Bro replied, his own mouth overflowing with marshmallow.  
"You're one to talk!," John said.  
“Oh, hush,” Bro replied, laughing. They finished about half their marshmallows over the fire, laughing and talking, when John tossed his skewer to the side and stood up.  
“So, what’re we doing next?,” Bro asked. John yawned, stretching his arms over his head.  
“I’m kinda tired; we got up so early,” he said, “wanna nap with me?”  
“Fine, you old coot,” Bro replied.  
“I’m not an old coot, you are!” Bro couldn’t really disagree- he was forty-two, after all. John huffed and strode into the tent, whipping the flaps closed behind him. Bro chuckled at his childlike outburst and poked at the cooled embers of the fire. He made sure they were all out and grabbed their snacks.  
“Hey dude,” he said, walking into the tent to set down the stuff. John was in the sleeping bag with a big frown, pouting.  
“Oh, Egbert.” Bro tossed the snacks to the side and knelt down, squeezing John’s shoulder lightly. Bro dressed down to his boxers and slid next to John in the sleeping bag.  
“We’ll have more fun tomorrow,” Bro whispered, running his hand through John’s feathery hair.  
“No, it’s okay,” he said, tracing circles on Bro’s chest, “I had fun, I’m just cranky ‘cause I’m tired, I guess.” Bro made a quiet sound of understanding. John wrapped his arms around Bro and laid his head on his chest, taking in the salty, fresh smell of his skin. Bro tilted John’s head up and placed a tiny kiss on his lips.  
“Love you, man,” Bro said, but John was already asleep.


End file.
